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A Hopeful Life after Divorce

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A Hopeful Life after Divorce

The divorce process is always difficult for all concerned. Regardless of who ended the marriage or when, the tearing apart of a life woven together by two people affects their emotional state and that of their children. This roller coaster of emotions can make the future look uncertain, frightening, and depressing. How can individuals create a life after divorce?

Going through the Pains of Divorce

Whatever the reason for the breakup, a divorce can turn your world upside down and cause painful and disconcerting feelings. If you’re the one left by your spouse, you’re likely to struggle with common long-term effects of being abandoned, such as insecurity, low self-esteem, and loneliness. For the spouse who left, the initial feeling of freedom will soon mingle with guilt. The pain may not be felt until later, when deep-seated guilt and regret manifest in other relationships.

The effects are worse in children, who may have been in the dark about the divorce. It is common for them to exhibit extreme behavioral changes during the acute phase of divorce. Although natural and expected, the emotional and physical symptoms can push them into the pit of depression and contribute to aggressive behavior that may be carried on well into adulthood. The children will bear the pain of seeing one parent leave the house or being dragged away to a new, unfamiliar location. These are traumatic experiences that can potentially shatter their lives.

Regardless of which side you’re on, your self-esteem and personal identity will go through major disruptions as you learn to be single again. Everything will seem different—routine, duties, home, and even your interpersonal relationships. What will life be now that you’re without a partner? Would you rather live alone than be open to a new relationship? How can you hope for a happy future after experiencing profound disappointment, stress, and grief?

Signs That You Need Help

In nearly every case where a committed relationship is terminated or dissolved, there is a long-term effect of emotional instability. It takes time to come to terms with the reality that your life has changed. On average, you may need at least three years to fully adapt to the changes. In the meantime, however, stress can consume you, and you may find that living your new life is agonizing.

If you have constant crying spells and feel helpless or crushed with depression, you need to seek help. Significant changes in your eating and sleeping patterns are also indications that your body is undergoing a lot of stress. Other clues, including fatigue, anxiety, aggressive behavior, or consistent irritability, are signs that you need the guided support of a professional. If you begin to use alcohol or drugs, or abuse prescription medications, it is definitely time to see a counselor.

Counseling is essential for all the people involved in a divorce, even if the parties decide to part ways amicably. Where children are involved, the divorced parents need to watch for acting out, mood swings, or loss of interest in school and other activities. Although these are considered natural reactions to the trauma of divorce, it’s a warning sign when the symptoms don’t decrease over time and disrupt normal functioning.

Healing and Moving Forward

No matter how deep the pain inflicted by divorce, there is always hope for a brighter tomorrow. Although recovery is not easy, keep in mind that it’s possible to move on. You may feel alone and tend to isolate yourself. Don’t try to get through this difficult time on your own. It’s beneficial to talk to someone about your thoughts, feelings, and concerns. It’s important to find support from others, such as family members and trusted friends. Those who have been through the same experience can attest that there is indeed hope for healing and a happy future, particularly if you seek professional help.

In the case of divorce, there are certain issues that are best left to the care of professionals. At Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC, there are independently contracted counselors who can help you begin to enjoy a happy life after divorce. The right counselor will work with you through the hurt to help you process it and resolve the remaining issues without further pain.

Get help adjusting to the changes, and move forward without carrying the heavy baggage of divorce. Make a call now to Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC, to get started on rebuilding a life filled with hope and future plans.

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Serving Areas: Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC

Counties: Moore county, NC, Lee County, NC, Montgomery County, NC, Richmond County, NC, Randolph County, NC, Chatham County, NC

Cities: Southern Pines NC, Pinehurst NC, Aberdeen NC, Taylortown NC, Pinebluff NC, West End NC, Seven Lakes NC, Eagle Springs NC, Ashley Heights NC, Ashmont NC, Five Points NC, Wind Blow NC, Jackson Springs NC, Whispering Pines NC, Vass NC, Cameron NC, Carthage NC, Eastwood NC, Lakeview NC, Narrow Ridge NC, Robbins NC, Roseland NC, Tramway NC, Troy NC, Zion Grove NC, Biscoe NC

Confidential / Private Sessions

Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC contracts with Licensed professional counselors/therapists/psychologists who provide a friendly, caring, and relaxed atmosphere in the Southern Pines/Pinehurst/Aberdeen/Raeford area. These independently contracted therapists/counselors assist adult individuals, couples, families, and children with resolving issues and getting back to enjoying their lives. Whether you are non-military or military, the independently contracted therapists with Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC are able and happy to assist you!

We support the Military!

Therapist Information

View the independently contracted, Caring, Licensed Therapists. Who is the Best Fit for you?

  • Kristin Vernon, MSW, LCSW

    Specializes in: (Ages 5+) Children, Adolescents, Couples, Families, Anxiety, Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Grief and Loss, Communication Skills, Divorce, Adjustment Disorders, Mood Disorders, Coping Skills, Parenting, Family Conflict, Marital Conflict, Relationship Issues
    Insurance: BCBS, Tricare, Medicare, cash
    Location: Southern Pines, NC
  • Gretchen Montesanto, MA, LPC, NCC

    Specializes in: (Ages 18+) Teens, Individuals, Anxiety, Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Grief and Loss, Stress, LGBT, Adjustment Disorder, Motivation, Life Transitions, Mood Disorders, Military Spouses

    Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

    Location: Southern Pines, NC
    Insurance: BCBS, Tricare and Cash
    Location: Southern Pines, NC
  • Jaime J. Fitzpatrick MS, LPCS, LCAS

    Specializes in: (Ages 18+) Adults, Families and Couples, Anxiety, PTSD, Trauma and Abuse Recovery, Depression, Military Life Issues, Adjustment Disorder, Relationship Issues, Marriage Counseling, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Trauma Focused Therapy, Addictions, Emotional Disturbance, Coping Skills, Impulsivity, Grief and Loss, Self-Esteem
    Insurance: BCBS, Tricare, NCHC and Cash

    Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

    Location: Southern Pines, NC
  • Gail Gustafson, MSW, LCSW

    Specializes in: (Ages 3+) Adolescents and Adults, Individuals, Couples and Families, PTSD/Trauma, EMDR, Adoption, Drug/Alcohol/Substance Abuse addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Bi-polar, Life Transitions, Grief and Loss, Parenting, family, couples and marriage counseling
    Insurance: BCBS, Tricare, Medicare,Cash, HRA and FSA accepted

    Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

    Location: Southern Pines, NC
  • Kelly ErkenBrack, LCSW

    Specializes in: (Ages 3+) Children, Teens, Adults, Couples and Families. Anxiety, Depression, Grief and Loss, Mood Disorders, Trauma, Adjustments and Life Transitions, ADHD, Behavioral Issues, Parenting, Relationship Concerns, Self Esteem
    Insurance: BCBS, NCHC, Medicare Tricare Select and Cash

    Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

    Location: Pinehurst, NC and Southern Pines, NC
  • Kathryn Wiens, PsyD. HSP-P

    Specializes in: (Ages 18+) Adult, Individuals, Couples and Families.
    Insurance: BCBS, Medicare, Cash, HSA and FSA accepted

    Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

    Location: Pinehurst, NC and Southern Pines, NC

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Is Clumsiness a sign your child needs counseling?

child playing with a blue toy car

 

All children pass through an awkward stage when learning and mastering certain motor skills. It is hard to say which is usual and which is not; there's an enormously broad range of what's normal when it comes to agility and coordination.

There are children who can master various coordination skills early - hand-eye/foot-eye coordination, balance and depth perception, and there are those, who will trip or fall over a lot of times, will have difficulty learning to write, and will not catch a ball thrown to them.

Why is your child clumsy? Is it just the usual type common among growing and develping children, or is it something you must worry about?

There are many possible causes of clumsiness. Initially, the most important thing to do is to seek professional help so that your child can be properly assessed.

What to Look Out For

Like other children, your son/daughter will pass through the three stages motor development and will show awkwardness and blips in the process until he/she masters the skill. While there are certain milestone developments to note such as walking before turning 1 year, it can be delayed a bit and it is still normal.

You may start getting worried when he/she shows delays in many motor skills. When you observe that your chlid is having difficulty achieving milestones in several areas, get him/her evaluated.

Evaluation is Critical

While clumsiness is a childhood "quirk" in development that is soon outgrown in time, don't just dismiss motor difficulties as normal. Evaluation is critical to rule out serious conditions and to be able to seek the right treatment or help.

Body coordination is an enormously complicated process involving input from both sensory and motor systems. Delays during the early years of development may interfere with your child's school performance and his/her ability to become socially integrated. Without help, your child may lag in school and may have difficulty relating to others. This will cause him/her to have poor self-esteem that can make him/her clumsier; other psychosocial problems can become magnified growing up.

Early Diagnosis and Treatment

If milestone developments are mostly delayed and your child is hardly mastering the critical motor skills, you may have to steer him/her away from play to give attention to practicing the motor skills. With the delay and as he/she grows older, self-consciousness or insecurities may set in as he/she fails to do what other children of the same age are doing.

Failure to master motor skills appropriate to his/her age may cause your child to shy away from the other children leading to behavioral problems and emotional stresses.

If your son/daughter is clumsy and has become withdrawn due to it and his/her other inabilities, it is a sign that he/she needs counseling before the other areas of development suffer too. "Wait and see" frequently doesn't work.

Take a proactive stance. Contact Carolina Counseling Services Southern Pines, NC for an appointment. Let us step in to assist you in empowering your son/daughter through counseling and/or referral to other therapy. Don't cause any further delay because life will not wait for your child.

Our Southern Pines office is convenient for nearby Pinehurst, Aberdeen, Carthage and Raeford. We look forward to seeing you!

Marriage Counseling: SOS for Distressed Marriages

couple standing in a wheat field

 

Everyone who is married can attest to the fact that conflict occurs in any committed relationship. Even marriages that seem ideal may suffer distress from time to time. In some cases, the troubles may escalate to a point where the couple become profoundly disappointed and refuse to stay married any longer.

The powerful effect of marital distress can take a toll on the whole family. When their parents are exhibiting great sadness, anxiety, and depression, it comes as no surprise that children raised in high-conflict homes tend to develop emotional difficulties. Ultimately, a distressed marriage may decline and end in separation or divorce.

Characterizing a Marriage That Needs Help

The causes of marital conflict vary from couple to couple, but generally manifest as difficulties with communication. Eventually, the breakdown in communication turns into endless arguing, stonewalling, sarcasm, insults, and contempt. A negative pattern of communication is the fastest way to ruin a relationship, as it will soon spill over into other parts of the marriage, such as intimacy. Instead of building connection, the spouses build a wall between them.

In other instances, couples may find themselves overwhelmed by the long-term responsibilities associated with marriage. Studies show that marital distress is highest during the early stages of marriage and childrearing. Other causes of conflict may include financial instability, unemployment, illness, substance abuse, and parenting differences.

Unresolved arguments, the loss of good feelings, and friendship that has turned into animosity are telltale signs of a distressed marriage. Loss of affection, withdrawal, physical abuse, hatred, and disconnection indicate that a marriage is in deep trouble and at high risk for divorce or separation. It’s also possible for long-term committed relationships where the partners are unmarried to experience the same kinds of problems.

Effective Help to Save or Strengthen a Marriage

Your marriage may be in distress, but it is not doomed. The problems can be corrected and the relationship can be effectively restored. Some couples have the innate ability to make their marriages work again on their own, but many others need outside help to successfully repair a relationship in distress.

No one has a perfect marriage. You can likely use a little help in working out your differences or enhancing your relationship. The marriage counselors independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services - Southern Pines, NC, will apply their expert training to help you navigate and overcome your difficulties. Call now to request an appointment.

Getting Relief for Depression in the Family

happy family of three

 

The Anxiety and Depression Association of America reveals that an estimated 14.8 million Americans are experiencing major depressive disorder. Of the total population, 1.5 percent struggles with chronic mild depression, which is also known as persistent depressive disorder.

It can be difficult to watch someone in your family suffering from depression. The heavy toll of the depressive disorder does not affect the sufferer alone, but it can also have a profound impact on one’s immediate family and/or friends.

The Simple Truth about Depression

It can be difficult to explain how you feel when you are depressed. That may be because depression is a medical condition accompanied by various emotional, physical, and behavioral symptoms. It’s not a fleeting occasional mood swing or a sign of weakness. Depression can also be related to health problems or even aging.

As you get older, you may be confronted with life stressors including health problems, fears, bereavement, and/or other emotionally challenging factors that can sometimes feel like too much to handle. It can be natural to have the “blues” when you’re faced with all these stressors and eventually, the negative feelings may pass.

However, when they persist, reoccur, interfere with normal activities, and lead to other physical or psychological issues, depression may be the cause. Symptoms of depression, left untreated, will often increase in frequency and intensity, often even escalating to thoughts of ending one’s life.

Depression, despite its daunting name, can be very treatable. Most people who receive early treatment respond favorably and are able to recover. If you or a loved one is diagnosed with any form of depression, the emotional support of family and friends can make a huge difference in alleviating the condition.

It may take someone who knows you well to recognize the symptoms of depression and offer help. However, simply saying that “everything is going to be just fine” may not be enough. Instead, you may need encouragement to seek a professional evaluation so that treatment can begin.

The Impact of Depression on the Family

Depression can be hereditary. Those that have been diagnosed with depression may later identify that a parent or other family member also exhibits some of the same behaviors or tendencies. Untreated depression can cause rifts in families, leading to hurt feelings and misunderstandings.

Often times a depressed parent can look like a parent who may not care, when in reality this could not be any farther from the truth. To the same effect, a depressed teenager can appear like a teenager abusing drugs or defying authority, another possible misconception. Through proper treatment a family can rebuild and break free from the cycle of depression.

Breaking Free from Depression

Millions of individuals find relief from the gnawing feeling of sadness, hopelessness, and hurt triggered by depression through counseling. There is hope and treatment is available. Start feeling better by making a call to Carolina Counseling Services - Southern Pines, NC, and allow a licensed, independently contracted therapist to help bring back normalcy to you and your family. Call today.

Our Southern Pines office also services Pinehurst, NC, Aberdeen, NC and surrounding towns and cities to include Raeford, NC and Sanford, NC