Going It Alone In Saving A Marriage

You’ve got friends from way, way back and you’re so comfortable with them you feel you can say anything. You get to be tactless, sometimes, but they understand you. They know you don’t mean to hurt. They are there for you.

You find yourself married and maybe expect that kind of love, comfort and understanding. You hear and read other married couples say their spouse is their ultimate “lover and friend.” It’s not happening in your relationship. Reactions to each other’s remarks are neither explosive nor threatening. On the contrary, your interactions just do not connect. You know the relationship is drifting to nothing but how would you bring up the idea of counseling.

Know the Score

Your husband or wife may not be the demonstrative type so try not to be too emotional when you bring up the idea of marriage counseling. He/she may not think there’s anything wrong with your marriage and can’t understand all the fuss. For all they care, there are more important things to focus on like their career. After all, he/she is doing his best to support you and the children. Therefore, for them, marriage counseling is uncalled for and the subject is now closed.

Wake Up Call

You are better off knowing there’s something amiss in your marriage. Companionship appears not to be a priority, it is just getting over each day amiably – no thrills, no squabble. Alright, you think you can live with that. You’ll give your spouse that treatment but, are you satisfied? The better question perhaps is, are you happy?

If you are the type that tries to think through problems and situations, you normally would not be content with just letting things remain as is. You are too closely involved, however, that you may not be objective in assessing things. This is when you need a counselor, with or without your spouse, for yourself.

Hope and Hold

You may reason that if your spouse really loves you, he/she would make an effort to be an enjoyable partner, not a dead weight. See, your hurt is showing. You may deny it and put up a brave front. But chances are, you feel devastated by your spouse’s seeming indifference.

A counselor would help you unravel those hurts. For one, you need to feel good about yourself, that you’re still the bubbly and lovable person that attracted your spouse in the first place. Perhaps, your spouse just didn’t have good role models in his/her life that eventually surfaced when responsibilities set in. Talking about it opens one’s mind and heart as your counselor walks you through these issues. There are many possible moves to overcome the boring marriage. To bring back the spark, and resolve issues, set an appointment with Carolina Counseling Services -Southern Pines, NC. Text, call or send an e-mail. You’ll find that it’s the best move you have done in remaining married and happy.

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