Journeying with Counseling:
The Quest for Self-Worth

When you want to calculate the size or area of something, you are most likely to use a measuring tool. The same applies when it comes to measuring your self-worth. Unfortunately, in today’s society, many people use unreliable factors to determine their value as human beings. Often, this involves measuring oneself against others, instead of focusing on intrinsic value.

The Fine Line between Self-Worth and Self-Esteem

Self-worth is referred to interchangeably as self-esteem. However, the dictionary explains that self-worth is the sense of one’s personal value or worth as a human being. It is an internal state of being arising from how you understand, love, and accept yourself. Regardless of what others think about you or unfavorable circumstances, the way you value yourself remains timeless and unchanging.

On the other hand, self-esteem is more immediate and depends on external factors over which you have no personal control, such as how others compare to you on a particular day. Self-esteem is derived from how you think others perceive you based on how you look or what you do.

Feeling Good or Bad about Who You Are

The way you opt to measure your self-worth will greatly influence the choices you make, your views about life, and the way you feel about yourself. It’s important to measure your value not by external events in your life, but by factors you can control.

The present competitive culture tends to dictate that we need to be special and above average in order to feel good about ourselves. While this may be possible, it can’t be the case all the time. Searching for self-worth by constantly drawing comparisons with others means fighting a battle you can’t always win. In reality, there is always someone more attractive, more successful, or happier than you are. Even when you feel self-esteem for one golden moment, you can’t hold on to the feeling forever, because your self-esteem rises and falls with your success and failure.

Studies cited by the American Psychological Association reveal that people who base their self-worth on what others think have more psychological and emotional issues, such as stress, anger, and relationship conflicts. They also report higher levels of alcohol and substance abuse and eating disorders among respondents who based their self-worth on external factors. On the other hand, those who base their self-worth on their own personal value feel better about themselves.

If you want to maintain a sense of satisfaction with yourself, you need to believe in yourself regardless of life’s inevitable ups and downs. You need to feel that you’re worthy of all the good things that come your way: happiness, health, success, riches, and love. A true sense of self-worth will not be shaken no matter what difficulties, disappointments, or limitations confront you, or what others might say or think about you. You accept yourself wholeheartedly at all times, notwithstanding your flaws and weaknesses. No external factor can change the way you feel about yourself. That alone makes you powerful enough to move forward with self-confidence.

The Quest for Self-Worth Starts with Counseling

If you feel unworthy or undeserving, or if you don’t like yourself very much and wish your life were better than what you have, you are probably suffering from low self-worth. Finding a supportive counselor is your first step in the process of improving the way you value yourself.

The specialist you’re looking for is waiting at Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC. One of the independently contracted counselors is the right-fit professional who can give you the tools to recognize the relationships between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. In a safe and supportive therapeutic environment, you can make the journey from negative self-impressions to a high level of self-assurance.

If you believe you could benefit from self-worth counseling, contact Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC, to set an appointment today.

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