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Talk Therapy: Comfort in Talking About Your Hurt

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Talk Therapy: Comfort in Talking About Your Hurt

 

Guatemalan kids have colorful and small “muñecas quitapenas” or “worry/trouble dolls” to talk to when they have trouble sleeping. Parents would put it under their child’s pillow once he/she “hits the sack” and remove it in the morning to make the child believe the worry is gone.

Interestingly, the folklore was picked by medical practitioners to treat sick children. Modern science (of course) has evidence to disprove that a worry doll can’t treat a disease or make the worry dissipate. If there is one thing this culture-spanning idea underscores, it is the power of talking. It reinforces the fact that talking about hurt can relieve emotional pain.

 

Not Talking as a Defense Mechanism

Not talking is a manifestation of repression; a defense mechanism to keep unpleasant thoughts and memories out of your mind. Not talking can also be borne out of fear of being misunderstood. People around you who really care will try to help you with your fears and pain, but many would not know the right thing to say.

Maybe not talking can help you avoid the stressful rehashing of the unfortunate event in your life, but not talking can’t make you live life to the fullest either. Your repressed pain will linger and continue to haunt you. Like a wall, your pain will isolate you from the world and prevent you from having fulfilling relationships. The hurt will be expressed some other way, usually in a negative, counterproductive behavior. You will most likely fail to develop resilience to stresses or recover from emotional pain.

 

Science Behind Talk Therapy

Is the benefit of the Guatemalan worry doll a myth/legend? Talk therapy is not merely based on a Guatemalan worry doll. Many psychiatrists, psychologists and therapists believe that talking or verbalizing the hurt can blunt the emotional impact of an experience. Moreover, the idea that verbalizing the emotion relieves the hurt inside is scientifically supported by studies.

One study was undertaken by Matthew Lieberman, PhD., a UCLA psychologist, and his colleagues. Using FMRI (functional magnetic resonance imaging). They observed that social rejection can activate a certain area in their subjects’ brains. Those who have less distress showed more activity in another part of the cortex, the area associated with language production or verbalizing thoughts. The results have been reinforced by yet another Lieberman study confirming that talking or verbalizing activates a certain part of the cortex, while it suppresses the brain part that produces emotional pain.

 

Talk Therapy: The Value

Verbalizing worries or talking can help heal your hurt. It lets you get real and ready to face life when it “throws curve balls at you.” Talking gives shape to your emotion so that you can better look at it squarely to manage your hurt more objectively. Just talking about how you feel can help you find comfort as it lets you release bottled feelings. If you feel talking to people can just unduly burden them of your worries or you have fear of being rejected, seek out a professional.

At  Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC, we have professional “talk” therapists who will listen and give you reinforcements so you continue talking and healing. Call, text or leave us a message in the Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC website so we start YOUR “talk” therapy!

Confidential / Private Sessions

Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC contracts with Licensed professional counselors/therapists/psychologists who provide a friendly, caring, and relaxed atmosphere in the Southern Pines/Pinehurst/Aberdeen/Raeford area. These independently contracted therapists/counselors assist adult individuals, couples, families, and children with resolving issues and getting back to enjoying their lives. Whether you are non-military or military, the independently contracted therapists with Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC are able and happy to assist you!

Serving Areas: Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC

Counties: Moore county, NC, Lee County, NC, Montgomery County, NC, Richmond County, NC, Randolph County, NC, Chatham County, NC

Cities: Southern Pines NC, Pinehurst NC, Aberdeen NC, Taylortown NC, Pinebluff NC, West End NC, Seven Lakes NC, Eagle Springs NC, Ashley Heights NC, Ashmont NC, Five Points NC, Wind Blow NC, Jackson Springs NC, Whispering Pines NC, Vass NC, Cameron NC, Carthage NC, Eastwood NC, Lakeview NC, Narrow Ridge NC, Robbins NC, Roseland NC, Tramway NC, Troy NC, Zion Grove NC, Biscoe NC

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Therapist Information

View the independently contracted, Caring, Licensed Therapists. Who is the Best Fit for you?

  • Kristin Vernon, MSW, LCSW

    Specializes in: (Ages 5+) Children, Adolescents, Couples, Families, Anxiety, Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Grief and Loss, Communication Skills, Divorce, Adjustment Disorders, Mood Disorders, Coping Skills, Parenting, Family Conflict, Marital Conflict, Relationship Issues
    Insurance: BCBS, Tricare, Medicare, cash
    Location: Southern Pines, NC
  • Gretchen Montesanto, MA, LPC, NCC

    Specializes in: (Ages 18+) Teens, Individuals, Anxiety, Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Grief and Loss, Stress, LGBT, Adjustment Disorder, Motivation, Life Transitions, Mood Disorders, Military Spouses
    Insurance: BCBS, Tricare and Cash

    Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

    Location: Southern Pines, NC
  • Jaime J. Fitzpatrick MS, LPCS, LCAS

    Specializes in: (Ages 18+) Adults, Families and Couples, Anxiety, PTSD, Trauma and Abuse Recovery, Depression, Military Life Issues, Adjustment Disorder, Relationship Issues, Marriage Counseling, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Trauma Focused Therapy, Addictions, Emotional Disturbance, Coping Skills, Impulsivity, Grief and Loss, Self-Esteem
    Insurance: BCBS, Tricare and Cash

    Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

    Location: Southern Pines, NC
  • Kelly ErkenBrack, LCSW

    Specializes in: (Ages 3+) Children, Teens, Adults, Couples and Families. Anxiety, Depression, Grief and Loss, Mood Disorders, Trauma, Adjustments and Life Transitions, ADHD, Behavioral Issues, Parenting, Relationship Concerns, Self Esteem
    Insurance: BCBS, Medicare Tricare Prime/Select and Cash

    Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

    Location: Pinehurst, NC and Southern Pines, NC
  • Kathryn Wiens, PsyD. HSP-P

    Specializes in: (Ages 18+) Adult, Individuals, Couples and Families.
    Insurance: BCBS, Medicare, Tricare Prime/Select, Cash, HSA and FSA accepted

    Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

    Location: Pinehurst, NC and Southern Pines, NC
  • Tracy Goldberg, MSW, LCSW

    Specializes in: (Ages 5+) Individuals, Adolescents, Adults, Couples, Children and Families. Attention Deficit, Oppositional Defiance, Behavioral Issues, Peer Relationships, Family Conflict, Depression, Anxiety, Parenting Anxiety, ADHD, Self-Esteem Issues, Family Conflict/Divorce, Marriage Counseling, Adjustment Disorders, Relationship Issues, Grief and Loss, Communication Skills, Behavioral Issues, Coping Skills, Mood Disorders, Parent Skill Building, Christian Counseling upon request
    Insurance: BCBS, Tricare, Medicare, Cash, HRA and FSA accepted

    Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

    Location: Southern Pines, NC

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Is Clumsiness a sign your child needs counseling?

child playing with a blue toy car

 

All children pass through an awkward stage when learning and mastering certain motor skills. It is hard to say which is usual and which is not; there's an enormously broad range of what's normal when it comes to agility and coordination.

There are children who can master various coordination skills early - hand-eye/foot-eye coordination, balance and depth perception, and there are those, who will trip or fall over a lot of times, will have difficulty learning to write, and will not catch a ball thrown to them.

Why is your child clumsy? Is it just the usual type common among growing and develping children, or is it something you must worry about?

There are many possible causes of clumsiness. Initially, the most important thing to do is to seek professional help so that your child can be properly assessed.

What to Look Out For

Like other children, your son/daughter will pass through the three stages motor development and will show awkwardness and blips in the process until he/she masters the skill. While there are certain milestone developments to note such as walking before turning 1 year, it can be delayed a bit and it is still normal.

You may start getting worried when he/she shows delays in many motor skills. When you observe that your chlid is having difficulty achieving milestones in several areas, get him/her evaluated.

Evaluation is Critical

While clumsiness is a childhood "quirk" in development that is soon outgrown in time, don't just dismiss motor difficulties as normal. Evaluation is critical to rule out serious conditions and to be able to seek the right treatment or help.

Body coordination is an enormously complicated process involving input from both sensory and motor systems. Delays during the early years of development may interfere with your child's school performance and his/her ability to become socially integrated. Without help, your child may lag in school and may have difficulty relating to others. This will cause him/her to have poor self-esteem that can make him/her clumsier; other psychosocial problems can become magnified growing up.

Early Diagnosis and Treatment

If milestone developments are mostly delayed and your child is hardly mastering the critical motor skills, you may have to steer him/her away from play to give attention to practicing the motor skills. With the delay and as he/she grows older, self-consciousness or insecurities may set in as he/she fails to do what other children of the same age are doing.

Failure to master motor skills appropriate to his/her age may cause your child to shy away from the other children leading to behavioral problems and emotional stresses.

If your son/daughter is clumsy and has become withdrawn due to it and his/her other inabilities, it is a sign that he/she needs counseling before the other areas of development suffer too. "Wait and see" frequently doesn't work.

Take a proactive stance. Contact Carolina Counseling Services Southern Pines, NC for an appointment. Let us step in to assist you in empowering your son/daughter through counseling and/or referral to other therapy. Don't cause any further delay because life will not wait for your child.

Our Southern Pines office is convenient for nearby Pinehurst, Aberdeen, Carthage and Raeford. We look forward to seeing you!

Marriage Counseling: SOS for Distressed Marriages

couple standing in a wheat field

 

Everyone who is married can attest to the fact that conflict occurs in any committed relationship. Even marriages that seem ideal may suffer distress from time to time. In some cases, the troubles may escalate to a point where the couple become profoundly disappointed and refuse to stay married any longer.

The powerful effect of marital distress can take a toll on the whole family. When their parents are exhibiting great sadness, anxiety, and depression, it comes as no surprise that children raised in high-conflict homes tend to develop emotional difficulties. Ultimately, a distressed marriage may decline and end in separation or divorce.

Characterizing a Marriage That Needs Help

The causes of marital conflict vary from couple to couple, but generally manifest as difficulties with communication. Eventually, the breakdown in communication turns into endless arguing, stonewalling, sarcasm, insults, and contempt. A negative pattern of communication is the fastest way to ruin a relationship, as it will soon spill over into other parts of the marriage, such as intimacy. Instead of building connection, the spouses build a wall between them.

In other instances, couples may find themselves overwhelmed by the long-term responsibilities associated with marriage. Studies show that marital distress is highest during the early stages of marriage and childrearing. Other causes of conflict may include financial instability, unemployment, illness, substance abuse, and parenting differences.

Unresolved arguments, the loss of good feelings, and friendship that has turned into animosity are telltale signs of a distressed marriage. Loss of affection, withdrawal, physical abuse, hatred, and disconnection indicate that a marriage is in deep trouble and at high risk for divorce or separation. It’s also possible for long-term committed relationships where the partners are unmarried to experience the same kinds of problems.

Effective Help to Save or Strengthen a Marriage

Your marriage may be in distress, but it is not doomed. The problems can be corrected and the relationship can be effectively restored. Some couples have the innate ability to make their marriages work again on their own, but many others need outside help to successfully repair a relationship in distress.

No one has a perfect marriage. You can likely use a little help in working out your differences or enhancing your relationship. The marriage counselors independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services - Southern Pines, NC, will apply their expert training to help you navigate and overcome your difficulties. Call now to request an appointment.

Getting Relief for Depression in the Family

happy family of three

 

The Anxiety and Depression Association of America reveals that an estimated 14.8 million Americans are experiencing major depressive disorder. Of the total population, 1.5 percent struggles with chronic mild depression, which is also known as persistent depressive disorder.

It can be difficult to watch someone in your family suffering from depression. The heavy toll of the depressive disorder does not affect the sufferer alone, but it can also have a profound impact on one’s immediate family and/or friends.

The Simple Truth about Depression

It can be difficult to explain how you feel when you are depressed. That may be because depression is a medical condition accompanied by various emotional, physical, and behavioral symptoms. It’s not a fleeting occasional mood swing or a sign of weakness. Depression can also be related to health problems or even aging.

As you get older, you may be confronted with life stressors including health problems, fears, bereavement, and/or other emotionally challenging factors that can sometimes feel like too much to handle. It can be natural to have the “blues” when you’re faced with all these stressors and eventually, the negative feelings may pass.

However, when they persist, reoccur, interfere with normal activities, and lead to other physical or psychological issues, depression may be the cause. Symptoms of depression, left untreated, will often increase in frequency and intensity, often even escalating to thoughts of ending one’s life.

Depression, despite its daunting name, can be very treatable. Most people who receive early treatment respond favorably and are able to recover. If you or a loved one is diagnosed with any form of depression, the emotional support of family and friends can make a huge difference in alleviating the condition.

It may take someone who knows you well to recognize the symptoms of depression and offer help. However, simply saying that “everything is going to be just fine” may not be enough. Instead, you may need encouragement to seek a professional evaluation so that treatment can begin.

The Impact of Depression on the Family

Depression can be hereditary. Those that have been diagnosed with depression may later identify that a parent or other family member also exhibits some of the same behaviors or tendencies. Untreated depression can cause rifts in families, leading to hurt feelings and misunderstandings.

Often times a depressed parent can look like a parent who may not care, when in reality this could not be any farther from the truth. To the same effect, a depressed teenager can appear like a teenager abusing drugs or defying authority, another possible misconception. Through proper treatment a family can rebuild and break free from the cycle of depression.

Breaking Free from Depression

Millions of individuals find relief from the gnawing feeling of sadness, hopelessness, and hurt triggered by depression through counseling. There is hope and treatment is available. Start feeling better by making a call to Carolina Counseling Services - Southern Pines, NC, and allow a licensed, independently contracted therapist to help bring back normalcy to you and your family. Call today.

Our Southern Pines office also services Pinehurst, NC, Aberdeen, NC and surrounding towns and cities to include Raeford, NC and Sanford, NC