Betrayal has the ability to cause so much devastation in marriage. It cuts deep and destroys not just the trust between husband and wife, but even the ability to have faith in one’s own sense of judgment. Many of those who have gone through the experience have managed to heal after finding out that one has become unfaithful in their marriage. Yet, there are also many couples who didn’t survive the crisis that comes after discovering or disclosing an affair. How can you stay and be happily in marriage after the affair?

The Aftermath: Surging of Emotions

The moment of discovery or disclosure will be hard to forget. You may be in shock or numbed, and you may feel pain, anger or some other hard-to-define mixture of emotions. In the initial stage, all you may want to do is to get even or to hurt your spouse in the way you are hurt. If you are clear about your desire to save your marriage, it is important that you get through initial responses without doing more harm to the relationship. This can be overwhelming.

The most important thing is not to make any drastic decision when your thoughts are muddled and numbed by intense negative feelings. Instead, focus on healing the wounds that the affair caused. If there is one important thing you can do, it is not to leave your emotions and relationship in tatters.

Healing Together: Is It Possible

Healing from betrayal will not be easy as it touches on the most fundamental aspects of a loving relationship – trust, unfaithfulness and abandonment – but it is possible. Looking at affairs as a sign of a troubled marriage or as a wake –up call may make it easier for couples to forgive, an essential element for healing. In many cases, healing together is possible, but sometimes more difficult.

You and your spouse will be coming from different perspectives, which may require different approaches for healing to take place. Sooner or later, you and your spouse may want to consider going through therapy together so as to heal as a couple and to avoid the same things from happening again.

Love Above Pain and Pride

If love has not been lost, it may not be everything in a relationship, but it can be a very good start. If you are both sincere in giving your marriage a second chance, know that how you’ll manage your concerns is of utmost importance. It can decide whether the experience will make the marriage ultimately more resilient or whether it will make you, your spouse or both of you hurting or scarred for life.

Don’t let pride, anger or pain stand in the way of a happy second time around in your marriage. Seek the guidance of a professional marriage counselor independently contracted by Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC so healing can take place after an affair.

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