Each child is unique and has a different personality type, which may tend toward choleric (outgoing and competitive), sanguine (friendly and playful), melancholy (introverted and deep), or phlegmatic (adaptable and attentive). For a happy childhood, however, every child must have a healthy perception of their self-worth or self-esteem.

Children with healthy self-esteem think and feel positive. They are optimistic and happy, and feel good about themselves, so that they usually sail through challenges. However, children with low self-esteem have the tendency to be self-critical, withdrawn, indifferent, unhappy, and depressed. They are generally uninterested in or afraid of meeting new challenges and end up being watchers on the sidelines rather than players.

Like any parent, you hope to see your child not only healthy and materially provided for, but also enjoying and getting the most out of life and opportunities. Move a step beyond just hoping—help your child develop healthy self-esteem by providing the professional help they need when they are flailing.

Facts to Know about Self-Esteem

Self-esteem or self-worth refers to “how much a person values himself or herself.” Self-esteem develops very early in life. It is analogous to a shield that protects a child against difficulties, failures, and criticism. A child with balanced and healthy self-esteem can better handle challenges and withstand life pressures. On the other hand, a child who has low self-esteem can experience an unfulfilling childhood, and if it is not addressed early, an unproductive adulthood.

Parents (and caregivers) have a major role to play in promoting self-esteem while children are young. When encouraged, they can soar high with healthy self-esteem. Highly critical parents, on the other hand, can have children who may never attempt anything on their own for fear of failing. Support is important in helping your child develop a healthy sense of self-worth. Without it, their self-esteem can’t develop while growing up in the way it normally should.

With so many developmental milestones to get through, a child is constantly challenged, and so is their self-esteem. With each success, they can feel empowered and positive, and their self-esteem is boosted. This can take them to higher levels of aspiration and achievement. Similarly, their self-worth may deflate with each failure, mistake, or censure. Failing is normal. It is how they can recognize their strengths and the areas where they need to develop. However, if they are unsupported or constantly criticized, it can be a big blow to their self-esteem.

Who Is Your Child: Poor vs. Healthy Self-Esteem

Your child could have been a happy baby, eager to explore and in good spirits most of the time. You may have not noticed it, but they may have changed while growing up. A child’s self-esteem can be volatile—it changes from experience to experience and milestone to milestone.

Are they showing signs of exasperation or low tolerance, such as saying, “I am so stupid!” or “I will never be able to do this right!” Apart from being afraid to try new experiences and being overly critical of themselves, a child with low self-esteem may also show signs of pessimism as well as symptoms of emotional conditions, such as intense fear or anxiety and excessive sadness.

Children with healthy self-worth appreciate new opportunities, enjoy meeting new people, and consider challenges a way to get better. They are the ones who stand in the limelight or out there on the playing field. You see them happily interacting with other people and eagerly finding ways to solve concerns at hand. They are likely to seek help when they can’t understand something.

Playing Your Part to Boost Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Helping your child develop a healthy sense of self-worth won’t be “a walk in the park.” For one thing, you have no power to fix your child’s low self-esteem. Trying to make things right for your child can make you both feel “crazy.” You may just end up having conflicts most of the time, especially when the child is older. 

You can, however, provide your child with an encouraging and nurturing environment to develop healthy self-esteem. You also have the power to seek professional help for your child and to seek empowerment from a capable therapist contracted with Carolina Counseling Services — Pinehurst, NC, to be able to perform your role as a supportive parent.

Clearly, every person who wishes to have a happy, productive life needs to have a healthy dose of self-worth. You can’t do things for your child or protect your child from life challenges all the time, but you can encourage your child to aim higher, work harder, and not quit when things get tough. You need not be alone in this: a caring therapist contracted with Carolina Counseling Services — Pinehurst, NC, can work with you and your child to help resolve the issues that may get in the way of your child enjoying a life with healthy self-esteem.

Related Articles:

• Happy Adolescence: Toward Healthy Self-Esteem
• How to Help Teens with Self-Esteem and Weight Concerns
• Negative Body Image: How It Can Impact Teens