Reading Your Child’s
Behavioral Issues

Children are quite limited when it comes to verbally expressing their thoughts and feelings. Instead of using words, it is common for them to use their behavior to convey a message. Unfortunately, using behavior as a method of communication is not as effective. Adults may struggle in finding the meaning, or they misinterpret the behavior, labelling them as ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ The children may also be called a lot of names when a parent feels frustrated, pained, angry, or embarrassed; such as disobedient, defiant, hard-headed, irresponsible, troublemaker, and the like.

Labeling them as such is unproductive. Their usage can only detrimentally impact their development, learning processes, emotional health, family relationships, and social dynamics. Instead of using labels, look at children’s behaviors as useful hints to your child’s innermost thoughts. They do say a lot about your child. These are strong ways to tell you what they can’t utter in words. If you wish to raise your child with impeccable manners, reading their behavior with precision is something you need to do. With the right help, you can enjoy parenting more.

Understanding Children’s Challenging Behavior

Children’s behavior, no matter how challenging, is meaningful. It is a way to communicate their needs or wants. It can also convey their feelings of sadness, anger, frustration, fear, insecurity, etc. Reading your child’s behavior is not easy because children’s behavior is a result of many interacting factors. There are powerful genetic and biological factors that cannot just be altered. Equally influential are a child’s natural temperament, personality and emotional development.

Your family relationships and circumstances, as well as social experiences can powerfully influence their behaviors, especially when they are younger. The degree of influence shifts to those outside the home as they grow older. These would be the mentors in their school, their classmates, their playmates in the school and neighborhood grounds, and maybe, the fellow athletes on community sport teams.

Children who perceive that they are loved and appreciated and who are nurtured in a caring and respectful environment are usually the ones who develop good behavior with socially accepted manners. Their confidence and self-esteem are bound to improve when they are surrounded with people at home and in school who preach and practice respect for individual differences. This means that adults play an important role in the way they would behave. Trusting the people around them and not feeling afraid, intimidated or insecure can foster good behavior.

Red Flags That May Indicate a Behavioral Issue

What constitutes a behavioral issue or difficult behavior outside ordinary juvenile growing pains? How do you know that your child isn’t just naturally boisterous, shy, bold or fearful? Behavioral issues have manifestations that are too glaring to be taken lightly. There are children who can exceed the ‘norm.’ There are five behaviors that experts consider as red flags of behavioral issues.

According to Victoria Education and Training, “When the child’s behavior does not fit with what is appropriate for the child’s developmental level, and is frequent or extreme, it is important to try to discover the reasons for the behavior.” Experts offer the following red flags to watch out for:

1. Defiance: This is a key behavior that may indicate serious behavioral disorders. The three most frequently occurring disruptive behavior conditions in children are Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and Conduct Disorder (CD). Spotting the symptom can be difficult because symptoms tend to overlap.

2. Antisocial Behavior: This can indicate ODD and CD. Children who are antisocial may not necessarily be a loner. Instead, they can associate with other children, but they may have difficulty adjusting to social norms. Though girls can exhibit this behavior, it is more common among boys.

3. Inattention: Most children have difficulty battling distraction. If inattention, however, is excessive, so that they could not finish a task, check out their hyperactivity and impulsivity to detect ADHD. A proper assessment can be efficiently done by a qualified professional.

4. Blaming Others: It is natural for children to escape punishment. Eager to avoid trouble, they readily point their fingers to the other children. If blaming others is consistent and there are obvious signs of irresponsibility, there could be more there than meets the eye.

5. Physical Aggression: This is the red flag that deserves the most attention. Unaddressed, this behavior can worsen. For children with CD, for instance, the behavior may evolve into hurting others or easily bursting into explosive anger when something stalls them from doing something. This behavior may also be accompanied by an increasing tendency to fight, destroy and defy.

If these behaviors are conspicuous, it is important to seek early intervention from the right professional. Not only will lack of diagnosis and treatment impact their development, their manifestations can also stress and frustrate the whole family.

Working with CCS Contracted Professionals

Parenting is tough! It can drain your energy and it can be an emotional rollercoaster too. But growing up has pains too. Navigating their way to the ways of the world is a tough job for young people. Understanding their challenges is a good start in reading their behavior. This will not be an easy process for you. To be more effective, bring in professional help offered by Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC.

How can an independently contracted counselor or therapist help? Working with an experienced professional is productive and proactive. It allows the sharing of information and strategies. This can grant you the chance to validate your expectations, if it is fair and age-appropriate to your child. When you feel like you are losing it, feeling ashamed, angry or frustrated, you will never feel hopeless, and that is important. If you feel hopeful, your child will never feel like he/she is becoming a burden to you and the family.

If or when your child is diagnosed with a behavioral condition, your child’s therapist can formulate a treatment and plan that addresses your little one’s specific needs. As long as you work closely with the professional, the chance of an improved outlook will be higher.

Help Your Child with Behavioral Issues NOW!

Life is tough, regardless of age. If you think that being a child is easy, then you are in for a big surprise. Not only is growing up tough for children. It can be extra challenging these days. Having busy parents who juggle dual or triple roles and jobs, most have no time to read the behavior of their children. This is unfortunate, considering that children’s behaviors are the ‘windows’ of their thoughts and feelings. If you feel disconnected to your child, your child may likely share this feeling with you. A skilled counselor/therapist independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC can help you keep that connection.

If your child’s behavior indicates a serious issue or condition, working on it alone can be a lonely and futile job. A condition needs to be treated. While taking out every tool you have in your parenting kit can help, therapy is something that only a professional can do. So, relax, breathe and pause for a while. As the therapist will ask signs and symptoms, keep a journal of your observations. Be ready to listen without intimidating the child. Be calm. If the red flags are ‘flung’ with frequency, it is time to contact CCS – Southern Pines, NC ASAP!

Related Articles: